Ted Trimpa is almost synonymous with Colorado’s Democratic Party. The heavy hitter in the state’s political machinations has put countless liberals in office, supported their causes, and wielded electoral power.

He’s also married to a man who refers to his own political affiliation as “ultra MAGA,” joking that “Republican” can be an insult.

Arash Mosaleh is the senior producer at Fox News for Gutfeld!, which tops the charts in America’s late-night comedy shows, frequently pulling in more viewers than Stephen Colbert and Jimmy Kimmel. Often satirical, the commentary from Greg Gutfeld can be biting as it targets liberals for the type of ridicule Colbert and Kimmel dole out to the rich and famous, and especially to former President Donald Trump.

Trimpa calls Mosaleh “a certified winger,” and while Mosaleh does give Trimpa credit for being more moderate, they both agree that Mary Matalin and James Carville are in the same party compared to their marriage.

How, in today’s divided America, have these two men remained together for 11 years, getting married on Dec. 31, 2019, despite their stark political differences?

The marriage of Trimpa and Mosaleh is a lesson for all of America about love, respect, empathy, and healthy debate and disagreement. It’s a lesson I practice, albeit imperfectly, in my everyday life with conservative family members who voted for Trump twice, and whom I love unconditionally.

Gov. Jared Polis would call it learning to “Disagree Better” as part of his National Governor’s Association project with the Republican governor of Utah, Spencer Cox.

“I think it’s less about compromise and more about common ground,” Trimpa said.

“Which can be difficult,” Mosaleh added.

“Because compromise makes it sound like you’re each …” Trimpa said.

“Having to give up something,” Mosaleh finished.

Yes, they finish each other’s sentences.

Neither has sacrificed anything in their careers nor have they softened in their political views. And yet, neither have they had to walk on eggshells in their marriage, afraid to talk about the real world. The two tackle America’s most complex and vexing political problems head-on, together, often without resolution. Sometimes, they go to bed mad, but in the morning, they start fresh.

“I’m a recovering journalist because what I do is no longer journalism, and I’ll admit that,” Mosaleh said of his mold-breaking work at Fox. “At least at Fox, we’ll admit that prime time from 7 p.m. to 11 p.m., these are opinion hosts … While I think that MSNBC and CNN, they will go to their graves saying they are journalism with a capital J and everything that they are saying is right and they think they are the end-all be-all of facts.”

But Mosaleh’s work is still beholden to facts, Trimpa says, defending his husband’s work, even if they are spun with humor to fuel the conservative view of America.

“He’s responsible for making sure the show is accurate,” Trimpa said. “He writes a lot of the show. He edits a lot of the show. If there’s ever a spot going after Pelosi, that’s him. If there’s ever a spot going after Kamala, that’s him. If there’s ever a spot going after trans people, that’s him.”

“Well, we don’t go after trans people,” Mosaleh clarifies.

“I know, I know,” Trimpa concedes.

And here’s the debate that ensues. Of course, the proud gay couple supports the transgender community and the right of transgender people to live their lives free of discrimination and harassment, but what about when it comes to children and medical decisions?

“You think we should use the heavy hand of government to regulate that?” Trimpa asks. “I find it so hypocritical of the right to talk about, oh, we don’t want a nanny state telling us that we can’t drink sugared sodas, but when it comes to this issue, all of a sudden, the nanny state is the parent state.”

“Well, Ted, these are life-altering, scarring surgical procedures on children, so I’ll support the nanny state to protect a child,” Mosaleh counters.

“That’s like using the 10th Amendment only when it’s convenient,” Trimpa says.

“I know,” says Mosaleh because they’ve been down this road before.

And that is just one example of the passionate disagreements between the two on a long list of cleaving issues: abortion rights, immigration, gun regulation, Jan. 6, etc.

“This is where we get along. We will help each other not conflate big issues and generalize,” Mosaleh says.

“Every now and then there will be an issue that I don’t understand the conservative position on or he doesn’t understand the liberal position on and we will help each other understand,” Trimpa said, adding that they both know the other is not going to have an epiphany and change their mind, but that at the end, they will respect the other’s position more.

And this is exactly where it can feel impossible to maintain a relationship with someone whose worldview is diametrically at odds with yours. How can we not take it personally that someone doesn’t believe us when we tell them something we passionately believe to be true, especially if the politics are personal? It is not an easy task, to be certain, and it does hurt for me that family members supported a man who claimed publicly that I and my colleagues are “the enemy of the American people.”

For Trimpa and Arash, it comes down to keeping politics from becoming personal. The fight is about public policy and institutions and the gradual moving of America.

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“We have to have a respect for the rule of law. We have to have respect for our institutions,” Trimpa says, noting that no one has done more to degrade trust in America’s government, courts, and democracy than Trump. “On some things, you just have to agree to disagree and whoever is in power gets to make the decision … and you just have to respect that.”

Trimpa even goes so far as to include the threat from Supreme Court Justice Clarence Thomas that he would roll back protections for same-sex marriage under the same judicial philosophy that ended privacy rights for pregnant women. Trimpa would respect the decision even as he fought for his marriage.

Is this defeatism?

Perhaps these men could be charged with such a crime if they weren’t both on the front lines fighting for their causes in the public eye, taking heat and dolling out sharp barbs of criticism to those they oppose.

If Trump is elected, Trimpa fears for Democracy.

Mosaleh says Trump has been vilified; the man is not a threat to democracy, but a harbinger of conservative policies who can make critical changes to American policy and fight back against liberal extremism.

“So many times now, people don’t even talk to each other from the other sides,” Mosaleh says, noting vilification of one another is a real threat to America. “I’ve lost friends for being pro-Trump.”

“I’ve had friends ghost me because I’ve stayed with him,” Trimpa said.

“And I’ve never had a conservative or a Republican friend shun you,” Mosaleh says.

“Conservativeland treats me really well,” Trimpa adds. “The Fox-family universe has been welcoming and appreciative of the viewpoint and appreciative of this relationship, and I don’t know if I can actually say that about the left.”

Americans should not stop fighting for their values and having heated debates.

But the 56,000 people who voted for Trump in Iowa last week are, with a few exceptions, simply good people who have a different view of the former president. And 81.2 million people voted against Trump in 2020 rejecting his brand of extremism.

No single American fits into the stereotypes being forced on us every day by those with power or those who seek power.

Mosaleh is a first-generation American whose mother was born in Mexico and whose father was born in Iran. He is also the first Republican in his family, let alone the first right-winger.

Trimpa was born and raised in Kansas on a farm. Long before he earned his law degree and learned his political acumen, his first job was working for Republican U.S. Sen. Nancy Kassebaum.

Now they are together, having swapped their stereotypes around, and found acceptance in their love.

Can other Americans do the same?

Megan Schrader is the opinion editor of The Denver Post.

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