Whatever you think of Sean Payton’s preseason, or the way he keeps shrugging off placekicker in a town where PKs are provincial legends, the Grading The Week gang gives the Broncos coach credit for this much:
The man’s figured out a way to live rent-free in New York City.
As in, living inside the heads of every last Jets player.
Garrett Wilson’s bucket hat — B-minus.
Look, can Week 5 just get here already?
Ever since Payton fired a shot across the continent at Jets offensive coordinator/former Broncos coach/Aaron Rodgers plus-1 Nathaniel Hackett, he’s managed to bury himself inside the Big Apple narrative like an orange and blue pizza rat.
And just when you think we’ve moved on, Garrett Wilson happens.
Remember when Payton put out his ground rules for player sideline conduct once you’ve been pulled from a preseason game? The four commandments: No taking your uniform off, no wearing sunglasses, no bucket hats, no in-game interviews.
So during the J-E-T-S’ 27-0 win at Carolina last Saturday, what does Wilson do? An in-game interview. Wearing a bucket hat. Wearing shades. Out of his uniform.
Oh, you cad.
Social media flipped out, as social media does, praising the young New York wideout for laying an epic troll job on a coach 1,800 miles away. And Wilson’s non-response response on Wednesday when asked directly about his intent — “I was advised not to speak on it. Good question, though.” — only added kerosene to the flames.
Seven more weeks. Poke the bear, kids, sometimes that bear pokes back.
Actually, Wilson might want to stop thinking about Payton and worrying more about the NFL’s “Hard Knocks Curse,” while he’s Googling for material.
Now there’s a qualifier here, as franchises who had reached the playoffs over the previous two years can decline an invite to appear on the show, which skews the pool toward rebuilds and also-rans.
But since “Hard Knocks” debuted, the 18 teams featured on it when on to win, on average, 7.8 games. Only one of those teams reached their respective conference championship (also the Jets, in 2010). Just eight finished with a winning record. Eleven of those 18 wound up missing the playoffs entirely. And, ya know, speaking of curses …
Cale Makar, NHL 24 video game cover star — C.
On one hand, King Cale deserves any rose thrown his way, including the privilege of having his face laying next to every Xbox from Halifax to La Jolla. On the other hand, this rose, especially in the notoriously superstitious NHL, comes with more than a few thorns.
If the “Hard Knocks Curse” comes with an asterisk, the “NHL Cover Curse” comes with precedent. Since 1997, only one cover athlete for EA Sports’ massive NHL franchise went on to win the Stanley Cup the season they adorned the front of the game — Patrick Kane, who pulled off the rare double with the Blackhawks in 2010.
Only two of the previous 27 players made it past the first round of the playoffs. Of the last 18 cover guys, eight wound up on teams that missed the postseason altogether. Mercy!
Maybe it’s all a bunch of hooey, and you’d hope Makar is healthy enough — everybody knows he’s good enough — to help carry the Avs during this contention window. But that’s not the kind of mojo you want dangling over Family Sports Center with a month to go until training camp.
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