Let’s list the achievements of the Walton-Penner ownership group to date: No. 1, worst head coach in Broncos history; No. 2, worst trade in Denver sports history; No. 3, worst contract extension in Denver sports history; No. 4, last-place 5-12 record; No. 5, “rewarded” interim coach Jerry Rosburg by letting him go, and No. 6, the most-bungled search for a head coach in memory.
Mike, issuing demerits
Kiz: Being a generous soul, may I suggest a little sympathy for Broncos CEO Greg Penner, the crazy-rich Waltons, the former secretary of state, the famous F1 race-driver and the all-star cast of characters now driving our beloved Broncos into the ground? These fine folks did inherit a wet clean-up on Aisle 3, as Nathaniel Hackett and Russell Wilson were already making a mess of things when the new ownership group officially took over. So maybe it’s no surprise Penner is having difficulty finding anybody to clean up the store at Dove Valley. If nobody from Jim Harbaugh to DeMeco Ryans wants this gig, I will humbly volunteer my services as coach of the Broncos. I’ll do the job for $1 million per victory. Deal?
Kiz, you would not be any worse than most of the candidates for Broncos coach. Outside of Red Miller, Dan Reeves, Mike Shanahan, John Fox and Gary Kubiak, it’s been a pretty dismal track record.
Dave, Denver
Kiz: During my introductory news conference, when Darren McKee of 104.3 The Fan dared to question my coaching credentials, I would pay homage to Shanahan, by stealing the Mastermind’s favorite retort to any antagonistic inquiry: “You are a trouble-maker, aren’t you?”
Nobody wants to coach Wilson. It’s fact. He’s washed and it will be blamed on the coach again next year.
Brett, revved up
Kiz: DangeRuss is the comeback player of the year waiting to happen. My story. Sticking to it.
The Broncos should flush the short-term thinking and personality-cult balderdash when looking for a coach. Thanks for your honesty with the under-achieving players you called out, Kiz. Keep the spotlight on. I am glad the Broncos aren’t rushing to hire. The right culture is more important than a star coach or star player. Wilson will be fine, if the new coach treats him like a player and expects him to support the culture.
John, repping the 303
Kiz: Our old pal Vance Joseph liked to issue T-shirts to players with motivational messages. I’ve already got a design in mind for the T-shirt I would hang in every player’s locker. Emblazoned across the chest would be these words: “Culture eats strategy for breakfast.” Above the heart, I’d have a “BRNCS” logo stolen straight from the creative geniuses at DNVR.
And today’s parting shot offers a little out-of-the-box thinking for the crazy-rich Waltons as they continue their intrepid quest for a new Broncos coach.
The Waltons should just dip into their Walmart door-greeter pool. Maybe, just maybe, one of them will want to coach this dumpster fire.
Terry, laughs last
