It took Brandon McManus 114 attempts and four seasons to miss as many extra points — seven — as the combo of Brett Maher and Elliot Fry have whiffed on over their last 72 attempts. Combined.
Now, we’ll grant you, the guys coming back from vacation on the Grading The Week stat crew admittedly aren’t that good at math.
But when they sent us that particular number, our initial reaction was probably the same as a lot of Broncos Country: Zoinks! Or rather, doinks!
Broncos kicking competition — D-plus
Hey, hey, we trust you, Sean Payton. I mean, what choice do we have? It’s Shanny Part II in Dove Valley, the Penners are all-in, and the Broncos needed a grown-up with gravitas to lead the room after aiming low at head coach for what feels like ages.
And maybe — actually, no, this is more of a certainty — we’re so scarred from trying to poke our own eyes out after watching NFL (makes air quotes) offenses (more air quotes) drawn up by Nathaniel Hackett and “Pencil” Pat Shurmur these last few years that we treat every Broncos point like it’s some delicate stone dropped from on high.
When you habitually score fewer than 23 per game, even PATs start to feel precious. So when you sign a guy off the street in Maher who got cut by his last team (Dallas) because of chronic extra-point yips, Mile-High hands start to wring a bit. OK, a lot. When Maher vs. Fry gets underway at training camp in a few days, we just hope the best man wins. Also, that the “best” man doesn’t also turn out to be a complete train-wreck.
Smokey The Coors Field Cat — A
As with previous management, the new kids on the GTW staff are big-time animal lovers. While they’ve given up hope on the Rockies, they’re rooting like heck for Smokey, the famous “Coors Field Cat” who was recently put up for adoption by Animal Rescue of the Rockies. (They were also amused as all heck by the part of Smokey’s listing that describes him as “allowing petting and handling … on his own terms.” A cat’s cat, that Smokey.)
The little guy’s drawn quite a bit of interest, thankfully, and deserves a loving retirement home after years of chasing rodents and watching terrible baseball. And even if you don’t get to give Smokey a forever home, you can help him indirectly while getting a chuckle along the way.
Local musician Marty Jones has composed a new ballad in Smokey’s honor, called “Smokey, the Coors Field Cat,” now available for download via Bandcamp.com. He says that 50% of all sales will go to Animal Rescue of the Rockies. It’s a sweet tribute with loving lyrics and a fabulous punch line at the end that hysterically rhymes “pitching” with something we can’t print in a family newspaper.
Afternoon drive radio shuffle — C
Full disclosure: Those wacky kids upstairs kinda miss hearing former Broncos tackle Ryan Harris on Altitude radio in the morning. And they’re still getting used to catching Harris’ old Denver linemate, Tyler Polumbus, on the 92.5 side of things after the big guy did yeoman’s work on afternoon drive with The Fan.
Welp, who’s ready for another round of ex-Broncos musical chairs? Several published reports late Friday indicated that Polumbus’ replacement, and (yet another) ex-Bronco, Derek Wolfe, had parted ways with The Fan less than a year after joining “The Drive” with Darren McKee.
Barrett Sports Media reported that Wolfe, a member of the Broncos’ Super Bowl 50 champs whose hunting and killing of a mountain lion last January went viral, was leaving the show to “focus on other interests.” So for the time being, it looks as if Wolfe’s going to have his afternoons free. Which means …
